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Baywatch

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Starring Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron

Baywatch is a comic reimagining of the successful TV series that starred Pamela Anderson and David Hasselhoff. In this one Dwayne Johnson’s is the lifeguard Mitch, who’s trying to make a patch of coastline safe for single mums and Florida’s multiracial community Directed by Seth Gordon, Baywatch centres on The Rock’s team of lifeguards featuring ex-Sports Illustrated model Kelly Rohrbach and Ilfenesh Hadera as they recruit three new members; the tough Summer (Alexandra Daddario), the nerdy Ronnie (Jon Bass), and Zac Efron’s muscular Matt Brody. Together, they form ing on the streets and busking to earn enough to eat. Given a home by social worker Val (Froggatt) and a job selling The Big Issue outside London tube stations as part of his recovery, James discovers a cat in his flat one day and adopts him, naming him Bob. The pair are soon inseparable, with Bob accompanying James to work and becoming something of a sensation, perching on his friend’s shoulders while he a family bond; all except Brody, a former Olympian who lost everything after disgracing himself. The trouble with this movie is that only the villain (played by Bollywood star Priyanka has an ounce of energy. All the other characters are very predictable. The fleshy, Jewish, geek (a bland Jon Bass) gets his appendage trapped in a chair and is seen by the girl of his dreams in a cold shower. Meanwhile, Matt is tricked into putting his face near a corpse’s private parts The anchor that keeps everything together is, as expected, The Rock, whose loveable persona brings genuine laughs to the movie. His conflict with Efron during the opening half hour is the films highlight, containing jokes that will make most people laugh. Of course, there’s something else afoot as Priyanka Chopra’s villain is using a local business to smuggle drugs onto the beach. Overall Baywatch is a disappointment and eventually collapses into a firework-filled mess that makes very little sense and treats the audience like idiots. The film is sexist and proudly pointless. It is rated for adults only as many of the jokes are quite disgusting. Baywatch, women bodies are decorative, appreciated only for how they look, while men’s bodies are purely functional. I would imagine that many women (and more than a few men) would really appreciate some lingering cinematic ogling on Johnson’s pecs and Efron’s baby-blues dear god. I personally found “Baywatch” as awful as the original 90s TV series.

Rated MA 15 plus 5 out of 10

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